Matthew K. Lawrence – Person living with Asperger’s Disorder

Hi, My name is Matthew Lawrence and I have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Disorder. I believe I have had this disorder since I was very young and it was noticed when I was in elementary school. I was put on several medications when I was in elementary school, I guess to deal with the symptoms of the disorder. What mainly was hard for me both elementary and all the way up through high school was socializing with other peers, since I was painfully shy and it was hard for me to open up. I always felt like I would be back-stabbed and a combination of that with “mean kids and teachers” all throughout school made me feel sorta withdrawn. Luckily though, I had some really good friends and teachers along the way that helped me overcome some of it…like Ms Dover, who was my resource teacher from 7th grade through 9th grade. She was always very good to me and helped me with whatever I needed help with. She was like a mother figure to me and I opened up to her really well because she always made me really comfortable.

School was always very tough for me, partly because I hated it and that I was terrible at math and the literature part of English. Grammar I always seemed to do the most well in. I always seemed to excel at spelling and would make 100s on about every spelling test I took. Although I didn’t care for high school at all, middle and elementary school were especially hard on me. My mother died when I was in 6th grade and that made it hard for me to concentrate in middle school because of having gone through that. I had some teachers in middle school and high school that were very rude to me, and thought I would not make it.

For instance, my computer teacher in 8th grade, got very upset at me when I had trouble in that class, but I was very afraid to ask her for help because she would constantly put me down or would just be flat out rude if I went up to her and asked a question. It further angered her when I told Ms. Dover how she was treating me and eventually it resulted in Ms. Dover and the principal taking me out of that class. From then on through high school, I had the hardest time trusting a lot of teachers except for a select few. One teacher I really liked a whole lot in high school that went out of her way to help me was Mrs. Strain, who was my 10th and 11th grade english teacher. She was always very understanding to me and my learning disability.

The constant feeling of not fitting in, struggling in certain subjects, the stress of high school, and many other things had all contributed to my reasons for dropping out of high school. I know Mrs. Strain tried to talk me out of it but the stress of school had mainly gotten to me. I have not gotten a GED yet and I am not sure as to if and when I may pursue it.

I think what can help with students like me would be to not put them down and tell them things like “You will never amount to anything in life”. If a student plans on dropping out, no matter if you don’t agree with their decision, you need to just respect it and not make them feel worse. That saying sticks and stones will brake my bones but words will never hurt is false. Words can and do hurt. Its happened to me before and I think teachers especially knowing good and well a particular student is sensitive should use caution when making comments like that. Another thing I didn’t like while in school was being called upon in class, as I was always a very shy and quiet person that preferred to keep to myself.

Since dropping out of high school, I have had several jobs including housekeeping at the Debeukelaer Corporation in Gluckstadt, working for the cafeteria at Olde Towne Middle School, working in the cafeteria at Rankin Medical Center, and currently doing grounds keeping work at Smith Wills Stadium. For the most part…I loved most of those jobs, except a couple of them in both cases those two places didn’t treat me and other people that worked there well so I quit.

I have read people with my disorder have a few obsessions or interests, in which mine are ghosts and the weather. I love going out to the weather service, listening to my weather radio, and watching thunderstorms develop. I also like to go and visit haunted locations or read about them and hear other people’s stories about them.

I am in the Hudspeth Center Community Living Program that helps find jobs and provides transportation for people in the program. I have an apartment in pearl and have a roommate. The program assists us with filling out our checks, taking us where we need to go, and just basically helping us with whatever we need. When I do get a job depending on where its at, I usually get a trainer from Vocational Rehab to come and help me since I am usually very nervous at a lot of places when I first start. The exception to this was when I started working at Smith Wills when I was pretty much the only person there except Steve, my boss.

Well…I guess that’s mainly what I have been through and if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask them.